When a man you love needs a little fixing….

When a man you love needs a little fixing….

There are women with a engineering character and I like that about them, their strength is so much and they don’t think there are things they can not fix, even if it’s the men in their lives.
As humans we have weaknesses here and there, some of us we don’t like it when some one yells at us, or talks in some torn we don’t like… or says word we don’t like. There is this phrase that a friend of mine uses so much, ”OK, you can do what you want!”

Those words make me mad, and I would blow out on how, weird he is… I would feel am not understood. To me it’s not always about what I want, but what I think is right. At times those can be different.

Back to the real world of fixing issues. I never liked those female talks where they tell women to sit back and just be women. Actually I would get bored with the whole talk… and if I have a chance I would go for some guy talk. “Simply to listen, on what I going to be done and how… ”, that stuff used to make me feel more alive! I love fixing stuff, but I think when it comes to fixing men, I would rather sit back and watch.

At times it’s better to let go of some things if you can’t agree with them whole heartedly. If you can’t stand how someone eats… then all the dinners you share with him will be a mess, you will be irritated and you start quarreling over small issues.

A friend of mine, happened to fall for this crazy guy, I should say picked an interest in him. And she always told us, he will change, it’s because he has not a job, Then the guy got a job, but still he did not change, and she was like he has problems with his father, ( His Dad needs a grand son, so we have to get married and give him one… and he will be, ok) the excuses went on and on… of late we met at a shopping mall with two sons, and the husband still needed some fixing.

My friend is tired of working so hard trying to make the wrong guy right… and she told me she was planning on walk away with her boys!

The question is, is that what she really wants for her children, for herself, is it the right thing to do? I happen to be a Christian and things like devoice don’t exist… Marriage is till death, though I would have loved it to be even through death (I would love to be with my hubby in heaven).

Gals we need to accept that we can’t change a man, just like no man can change us! It’s only God that can re-model our lives and make us better people.

The good thing that has happened, is that my friend has joined the marrieds group at church and she will continue to get support even though her husband has not changed, we pray that God continues to work on him.

But if yo not married to his man that you need to fix for the rest of yo life I would ask you to think again, Measure yourself and see if you can really do that ‘for the rest of your life’ with love and no complaints or regrets.

If you can’t handle, you step out, as they say; if you can’t stand the smoke, you get out of the kitchen. It’s much better to step out even when you don’t want to, than to spend the rest of yo life cursing the man yo claim to love.
I know, this category of women don’t like feeling like they failed… but getting out of such a relationship is not failing…. It’s winning. You win happiness from jail. Otherwise, how will you be happy if you’re always complaining about the mess he does, the alcohol he drinks, or his stupid ‘values’, or his insulting jokes?

You can chose now, to let go and gain yourself over the engineer you feel you are. And you can share with us your success story and encourage others. Or tell us what has failed to caution others behind you in a queue.

All in All, Let God do his job, am sure he much better at it than us.

Beneth Akoola.

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