Keep me from Ending

Keep me from Ending

My mother always asked me
to finish what I started,
With so many around me
I wish I had a software to delete
or stop all of the with one click

At times I wish I was younger,
For everyone to look at me as a kid,

At this point of depression, I feel may be,
This is where others chose to take their own lives…

Oh lord, Keep me from ending it,
I would like to live on,
See my children and grand children

By Beneth


Faint Hope

Faint Hope

It had been long
I have tried hard,
Yet no good has come out of it

I see trouble in every opportunity door
That opens before me

I know am not alone
Immersed in such feeling
I wish to find a way out.

It would be great
Helping my buddies swimming with me
From faint hope,
To greater hope,
Better life,
Better memories written

These tears won’t help,
They simply stain my face,
And tear my heart to pieces.

I need to be trough, even in tough times
Confront my fear, and hope on.

I need to survive this,
And encourage those behind me.

By Beneth


Seeing a counselor

Seeing a counselor

Life has been mixed up like knots of spider threads
Forcing them to untie, tears them apart for ever

I need a hand in this,
Am seeing a counselor,

I feel so guilty to sit and start lamenting about my mess,
Cos I realize every mistake I made in front of this stranger.

It feels so stupid to tell your mess as though it’s a supper man’s story

“We all error in one way or the other”,
“nothing to be ashamed of… No one is perfect
The errors make us who we are,
Affecting us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually…”

He comforts me,
To search for all the mess I think I have,
In each knot and untie them one by one…

If you,
Have no hope,
Have faint picture of the future,
Or don’t think you can recover from this
Or you wish you were not yourself,
Then we have work to do…
He conforms his position

I wonder,
Does he know what he is asking?
Some, I had accepted them as part of my life,

I know it’s painful going over these things once more…
It will take a lot of time from both of us…
But am willing to try

By Beneth


Which Road?

Which Road?

Am standing at this cross junction
Wondering which road should I take?
Should I go straight through, left,
right or backwards?

Am scared of the unknown,
I want to go back…
It has been hard reaching here,
And doing it again is not easy for me…
And my fear is growing every day,

Dear Lord,
You’re the way,
The truth and light…

Show me you foot prints,
And in them I plant mine.

You promised never to leave me,
And I believe you won’t
Hold my hand, and lead me to where am supposed to be.

Lead the way LORD.

By Beneth


Could this feeling be stopped?

Could this feeling be stopped?

My nights are spent in a dream land,
One dream after another

I feel something is wrong,
And needs to be set right

I feel, am locked up in a prison,
With no light dashing into my room

I feel trapped in a bubble
With less air for me to breathe

I feel am dying slowly,
With no priest around me to bless me as I take my last breath

I don’t know how to stop this,
But I wish I could stop this feeling.

This bitterness is killing me,
Could this feeling be stopped?

By Beneth


Any Sunshine Ahead?

Any Sunshine Ahead?

Am stuck in a tunnel,
Filled with darkness,
As though death is around the corner.

It frightens me so much,
For I do not feel ready yet
to meet my creator.

A lot of work he gave me,
I have not done yet,
I cry for sunshine day in day out…

Am told,
One day in God’s kingdom is better than 1000 elsewhere…

But I don’t need only one day,
I need all the days with HIM
than 1 elsewhere…

Shine on me,
Shine for me…

If there is any sunshine ahead,
Lord let it shine for me.

By Beneth


What Happened?

What Happened?

What happened to me?
I keep asking yet no one gives me the answer

Where did the jolly, fun , happy part of me go?
Did I lose myself along the way?
Or my days of happiness are finished?

Oh Lord, I hope not…
For I miss my self.

I look in the mirror,
And the reflection I get is a of a stranger

I can’t tell why she does what she does
For she never believed in them before

I wonder,
what happened?

I miss myself,
More than one will ever know…
I hope to meet you soon,
And then…
I will hold on you tight
never to lose you again.

By Beneth


Hurting Inside

Hurting Inside

I hear myself crying
Screaming on top of my voice
Pouring my confused heart out

No one sees my wounds,
No one can tell how much pain
I’m crying within me.
And others continue to hurt me
Without knowing how deep
These wounds have grown.

I wonder,
Is God mad at me,
or HE feels my pain too?
Why is this happening to me?

Oh Lord, take me through this,
I know you know each byte of pain
I feel,
The tears I have shade,
And each word I have said
you have heard,

And when my day comes,
You will lift me up to my seat to glorify your name.
I pray I live to see that day come by

By Beneth