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God is working on me

God is working on me

Life used to be normal,
But now,
Everything is changing
And life is so challenging

God is still working on me,
With trying times,
It’s so hot in here,
The tests are no jokes,
and the purifying is not either.

General cleaning has never be easy,
It’s hard work,
It hurts, it’s painful,
Costly and it takes a lot of time.

And he is still going on
With his job.

I can’t wait to look at myself
Once he is done.
I know I will be shinning.

By Beneth
20/06/2010

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Passing Time

Passing Time

May times when life gets tight
we chose to sit back
and believe time heals the damage.

My cousellor calls it wasting time,
I call it giving things time,

Fix it if you can,
If you can’t chill it,
I say fix it if you can’t
worry on how it will go

Why ask Gos’s help
And hold onto the problem
Release if you need help
Only cover to protect
& protect no damage

Pass no time,
Act on it,
With hands or prayer
Work upon it.

By Beneth
20/06/2010

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My life

My life

Looking at this scroll of my life
Am impressed at the great things
I have done

However I close my eyes
at some scenes in my life
as shame swallows me

My counselor told me,
We all have ups and downs
Though there are those things
we never expect ourselves to do

Every little thing we have done,
We have lived,
We have learnt from it.
It has shaped us,
Be it good or bad,
Proud of or ashamed of it,
That is your life,
That is my life.

The past is gone,
The story still goes on,
We need to chose how it to ends
That is all I need to remember.

By Beneth
20/06/2010

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Hating Self

Hating Self

Every wrong thing in my life,
Drains back to me,

I blame myself for lack of information,
Trusting easily, loving wrongly,
Hiding from the truth,
And under looking situations
I hate myself for this.

The sooner I get over this the better,
For no matter what,
I cannot avoid myself.

By Beneth
16/06/2010

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Difficult Choices

Difficult Choices

Every time I chose to go ahead,
Another difficult choice is places before me

Sometimes I rely on myself to find a way out,
As things go on, they get harder, I seek your help.

How long will this go on?
Why can’t I rely on you all the time?

I have fallen many times,
Yet learnt nothing from any of them,

Help me to lean on you,
Go by your choices,
May be then,
I won’t be faced with difficult choices.

By Beneth
16/06/2010

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Keep me from Ending

Keep me from Ending

My mother always asked me
to finish what I started,
With so many around me
I wish I had a software to delete
or stop all of the with one click

At times I wish I was younger,
For everyone to look at me as a kid,

At this point of depression, I feel may be,
This is where others chose to take their own lives…

Oh lord, Keep me from ending it,
I would like to live on,
See my children and grand children

By Beneth
10/06/2010

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Faint Hope

Faint Hope

It had been long
I have tried hard,
Yet no good has come out of it

I see trouble in every opportunity door
That opens before me

I know am not alone
Immersed in such feeling
I wish to find a way out.

It would be great
Helping my buddies swimming with me
From faint hope,
To greater hope,
Better life,
Better memories written

These tears won’t help,
They simply stain my face,
And tear my heart to pieces.

I need to be trough, even in tough times
Confront my fear, and hope on.

I need to survive this,
And encourage those behind me.

By Beneth
10/06/2010

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Seeing a counselor

Seeing a counselor

Life has been mixed up like knots of spider threads
Forcing them to untie, tears them apart for ever

I need a hand in this,
Am seeing a counselor,

I feel so guilty to sit and start lamenting about my mess,
Cos I realize every mistake I made in front of this stranger.

It feels so stupid to tell your mess as though it’s a supper man’s story

“We all error in one way or the other”,
“nothing to be ashamed of… No one is perfect
The errors make us who we are,
Affecting us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually…”

He comforts me,
To search for all the mess I think I have,
In each knot and untie them one by one…

If you,
Have no hope,
Have faint picture of the future,
Or don’t think you can recover from this
Or you wish you were not yourself,
Then we have work to do…
He conforms his position


I wonder,
Does he know what he is asking?
Some, I had accepted them as part of my life,

I know it’s painful going over these things once more…
It will take a lot of time from both of us…
But am willing to try

By Beneth
10/06/2010