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All I have loved

All I have loved

I have loved many
Told a few
In fear of rejection

I have admired many,
Got close to a few
In fear of embarrassment

All that I have loved,
May be I did not tell you,
May be you did not love me back,
May be it did not work work out.
May be I hurt you.
May be acted or lied
Or may be tried so hard to be perfect

I did not plan for pain,
yet I caused it,
I did not plan to hurt you either, yet I did,
I tried to be perfect
I ended up messy and stupid.
I tried to hold on,
Yet it all slipped away
Probed to understand,
Ended up nagging

All that I loved,
I did not love you as I wanted,
May be as you deserved
But I believe,
All I have loved.

By Beneth,
(4 friends I made enemies).
16/08/2010

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So far, yet so close

So far, yet so close

He is online I say, Hi
Hi there, he says

I don’t why
But I smile at every
Word he writes to me

All day long,
Sharing our dreams, hopes,
jokes, fears and daily stories.
Amazing.

How comforting, encouraging
And supportive it can be.
How sad, dull and restless it can be
Once offline

He is my pal,
On the other side on the keyboard,
So far, yet so close

Hi, there

By Beneth
21/09/2010

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Too late now

Too late now

They say better late than never,
May be that is what u believed.
But now,
It’s too late

It’s too late to believe in you,
It’s too late to love you just as I used to,
My heart is now so cold,
And I resent you,

A glance at you
Reminds me of pain than
The beautiful flapping butterflies

I wish I could believe you,
I wish I could turn back
to those beautiful moments.
But it’s just too late now.

By Beneth
16/09/2010

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Lies to cover lies

Lies to cover lies

Once I told a lie,
Easily they believed me
And oh … I went,
That was easy!

One question after the other,
Follow ups and clarifications
Oops, I went
This is becoming nasty

Day after day
I had to keep my word,
Well my lie,
Telling the truth sounded stupid,
And keeping the lie alive became painful.

Lies to cover lies,
You can not easy get your way out
Truth, may be next time,
For you don’t need to remember
What you said the last time.


By Beneth

10/09/2010

2

Life without you

Life without you

I never thought I would live without you,
I never imagined I will watch sunrise, to sunset without you by my side.
Things change so I heard,
Now I believe

Once a candle is blown,
Darkness closes in,
And once a vacuum is created,
Air displaces it at the first chance it gets

I think air filled the vacuum,
As soon as it was created,
Memories were forgotten,
As though they never meant a thing,

Life without you,
So different from what I imagined

By Beneth
20/09/2010

0

I wrote you a letter

I wrote you a letter

I wrote you a letter today,
Just like I did yesterday and all days before
I wrote uncountable number of drafts,
I wanted it to be as perfect just as my thoughts

I just wanted you to know
That I feel lucky to be the little gal you loved
The gal you laid you’re life for.

I cried, thinking,
I will never be able to see you again,
Am told, you live.
So I wrote you a letter.

Am lucky to know you,
Too know of your love,
Thank you for loving me.
I just hope you read all my letters.

4 J.C.
By Beneth
05/09/2010